Related through marriage to a lady of Scottish decent I was alarmed this morning whilst listening to the BBC weather report pertaining to the red alert forecast heading in the general direction of our tribesmen north of the border.
This low pressure system engulfing the highlands was named by some institute in Berlin, famed for its sense o humour as is the norm in Germanic nations, as Friedhelm.
Trying to pronounce a gobful like that after an evening on Glen Morangie n white pudding supper from the chippa was never gonna get the average Scotsman anywhere, in any case why wasn't the Scots weather stations consulted on the naming exercise. Do we really need the bloody germans to add a monicker to a braw windy day, do we fek, so, nazis sent packing wee Wully from the kingdom of Fife, Crail, called this hooley of a wind Hurricane Bawbag.
For the uninitiated to a Fifers tones, a cross between sweet song and Irish brogue with a wee dabble of Norske the term translated to the English equivalent is Ballbag, a reference to the male scrotum sack, or simply some dickhead you dinna like.
Now, like I mentioned earlier, worried for the wellbeing of my 85 year old Ma in law and other family members we manned the phone in the hope of making contact, which is the usual occurrence several times a day, not today though.
First call was 5 minutes earlier than usual, the old girl. "Ach Susy" she addressed the wife, "Tis fair blawing a fekkin hooley oot there this mornin, Ave jest dragged the fekkin cat in oot the bin, terrified he wa."
The cat, not a cuddly family pet, but an urban prowling predator reminiscent of the American mountain lion is not one to be easily fazed, but, Bawbag had struck.
The wife fearing for her Mum's safety replied, "Batton doon the hatches Ma, its nee fit fo a dawg to be oot," before checking about food and other provisions required for living in sheltered accommodation north of the border,having checked and been reassured that life would be sustained she passed the order that Scots across the nation would be awaiting patiently at the ungodly hour of 8.35am, "Now get yasel a wee dram to keep tha cauld oot"
The last we heard was around 1400 hrs, the auld girl was pished, the wind had a new name and somewhere in Glasgy a small limited company were printing T-shirts adorned with the slogan,
"I came face to face with Hurricane Bawbag and survived"
By tomorrow Bawbag will be a forgotten memory, as its always bloody windy north o the border, but its legacy will live on as the other windbag from these northern climes, Alex Salmond will soon accomplish that which Bawbag has failed to do, separate this fine country, Scotland, from the rest of the united shithouse, and Al, I'll tak a wee dram te that mesel, good luck to the country and its people.
Thursday, 8 December 2011
Wednesday, 4 May 2011
Ian Tomlinson, Osama Bin Laden
Finally, an inquest has found that copper Simon Harwood could possibly be up on manslaughter charges following his assault on newspaper seller Ian Tomlinson at the G whatever summit.
Well whoop de doo, lets celebrate.
I mean, how hard is it for the average joe in the street, judges, lawyers, the whole police community, in fact everyone WHO CAN SEE the video evidence not believe, that lunging viciously at the back of a man walking with his hands in his pockets could have serious consequences, especially if he'd fell into the City of London bollard (made of cast iron) face first, or that which did happen, fell hard to the ground causing internal injury while being of less than good health.
The cop in question is in my opinion typical of most of this country's force today, cowardly and brutal while in a pack and can usually get away with murder, as long as there are no witnesses or video footage, sadly for this cowardly cop, there is, he should be charged, prosecuted and receive the maximum sentence for his behavior towards an unarmed man strolling home from a shift that dickhead Simon wouldn't dirty his hands to cover.
My second opinion pertains to the death of the scarlet pimpernel, Osama Bin here/there/everywhere, well, wasn't this convenient, just in time for Obama's re-election campaign to get a boost. Hilary Clinton has pulled off a master stroke here, the woman who really is in charge at the white house is busying herself trying to keep her boss as the frontman, al-Qaeda will soon be over as the only way to kill a snake is to cut off its head.
Troops will now be coming home from the mid-east, (to save money) triumphant, leaving the peasants and our troops to sort out the mess the frigging yanks have created, the only trouble with this is that the WHOLE WORLD DOESN'T BELIEVE THE STORY.
I for one, am very sceptical about anything a politician across the pond or here at home says, as they couldn't lie straight in bed.
Osama is very likely dead, no-one's heard owt from him in years and consumption of sheeps eyes and goats head soup has fallen in the regions where it was suggested he had his hideout, but I don't reckon this raid had sweet fanny adams to do with his demise. More than likely he was killed in a bombing raid on caves he was supposed to be hiding in years back, when the yanks slotted so much explosive material into the area they practically dissolved a mountain.
Whether this is nearer the truth or not we'll never know as nobody in government thinks we should know, but personally, I dont give a shit, but without the body being displayed at ground zero to be submitted to a public stoning or some other irrefutable evidence (like that in Ian Tomlinson's case) I'll continue to believe what I like, mostly that those in power are lying bastards.
Well whoop de doo, lets celebrate.
I mean, how hard is it for the average joe in the street, judges, lawyers, the whole police community, in fact everyone WHO CAN SEE the video evidence not believe, that lunging viciously at the back of a man walking with his hands in his pockets could have serious consequences, especially if he'd fell into the City of London bollard (made of cast iron) face first, or that which did happen, fell hard to the ground causing internal injury while being of less than good health.
The cop in question is in my opinion typical of most of this country's force today, cowardly and brutal while in a pack and can usually get away with murder, as long as there are no witnesses or video footage, sadly for this cowardly cop, there is, he should be charged, prosecuted and receive the maximum sentence for his behavior towards an unarmed man strolling home from a shift that dickhead Simon wouldn't dirty his hands to cover.
My second opinion pertains to the death of the scarlet pimpernel, Osama Bin here/there/everywhere, well, wasn't this convenient, just in time for Obama's re-election campaign to get a boost. Hilary Clinton has pulled off a master stroke here, the woman who really is in charge at the white house is busying herself trying to keep her boss as the frontman, al-Qaeda will soon be over as the only way to kill a snake is to cut off its head.
Troops will now be coming home from the mid-east, (to save money) triumphant, leaving the peasants and our troops to sort out the mess the frigging yanks have created, the only trouble with this is that the WHOLE WORLD DOESN'T BELIEVE THE STORY.
I for one, am very sceptical about anything a politician across the pond or here at home says, as they couldn't lie straight in bed.
Osama is very likely dead, no-one's heard owt from him in years and consumption of sheeps eyes and goats head soup has fallen in the regions where it was suggested he had his hideout, but I don't reckon this raid had sweet fanny adams to do with his demise. More than likely he was killed in a bombing raid on caves he was supposed to be hiding in years back, when the yanks slotted so much explosive material into the area they practically dissolved a mountain.
Whether this is nearer the truth or not we'll never know as nobody in government thinks we should know, but personally, I dont give a shit, but without the body being displayed at ground zero to be submitted to a public stoning or some other irrefutable evidence (like that in Ian Tomlinson's case) I'll continue to believe what I like, mostly that those in power are lying bastards.
Sunday, 27 March 2011
Protest March achieves S. F. A.
Well the big march did it, 26 March 2011 was a big day for the TUC, who managed to congregate up to half a million people in central London to protest at the austerity cuts imposed by our Tory/condem masters.
There would have been a lot more in attendance but the rest of us couldn't afford the train/bus or fuel costs associated with travel to the capital as we're too busy trying to feed and clothe our families.
All to no avail as the government took this paltry turnout to mean that the other 59,499,999 of the UK population actually support the extreme measures they've had to impose so they can bomb Libya while fighting the war on terror everywhere else.
I would have liked to have gone but as usual I was skint and saw little point attending without having access to a smart bomb to deploy on the houses of parliament. The only way to rid this country of the plague which are Politicians.
Shadow leader Ed Milliband lived up to a labour leaders reputation by mounting the rostrum to spout a complete load of rubbish about struggle, something I doubt he, or any of his fellow Jews have suffered since 1945 when they escaped persecution similar to what the rest of us are having to endure in the present climate, albeit, without a large amount of gold or bag of diamonds to help us set up home in a new land. Give me my share and I'll gladly take off on the next plane out, though I wont murder Palestinians, bulldoze their homes or simply take their country away from them in the process.
But less of the Milliband heritage as he and his brother are of no consequence, no-one in their right mind would vote for their chosen party ever again, Gogo Brown won't be making a comeback as no-one wanted him in the first place and Tony, well, if you tear a country apart based on listening to rumours started by an oil baron idiot named George then really you don't deserve a job, but actually get a very highly paid one as compensation for messing up big style anyway.
So, where do the British public turn?
The savior, Cameroon. Who voted him in? The middle class marchers who gathered in the capital teed off with the cuts, simples, I bet they wished they'de thought a bit more about it before they put that little X in the blue box on polling day.
I have deleted a multitude of old posts on this blog pertaining to what the Tories do, have done and will continue to do each and every time they hold the reins, if you didn't get it before then here's a snippet to remind you all.
They sell off everything they can to fill the coffers after Ed's lot mess up. They make cuts, usually to all industry, however we don't have any left, so its the public sector this time, sorry.
What does this achieve in the grand scheme of things you might ask, well, it swells the queue at the dole office and makes the majority in this country who prefer working for a living to sitting watching Jeremy Kyle, hungry.
Hunger, in turn keeps the wage bill in the private sector down as there's always someone from this queue ready to step in to a position vacated by an extremely overworked individual who throws the towel in while trying to negotiate a pay increase.
The end result is Davy's chums in big business make oodles of dough at everyone else,s expense while paying even less corporation taxes as Dave reduces this as soon as he takes power and continues to reduce this year on year with the help of tax avoider Georgie, both of whom are guaranteed a job in said corporation on being removed from power 5 years down the line, even though both of these and the rest of their cabinet are already multi-millionaires and don't really need the money but like to play politics as they attended Eton and the monopoly board wasn't as much fun as stiffing the British public.
Next time out folks put your X next to the ENGLISH DEMOCRATS, SDLP, UKIP, The Green party or even the BNP, but for christ's sake lets not vote for the other three showers of excrement ever again, You know it makes sense.
There would have been a lot more in attendance but the rest of us couldn't afford the train/bus or fuel costs associated with travel to the capital as we're too busy trying to feed and clothe our families.
All to no avail as the government took this paltry turnout to mean that the other 59,499,999 of the UK population actually support the extreme measures they've had to impose so they can bomb Libya while fighting the war on terror everywhere else.
I would have liked to have gone but as usual I was skint and saw little point attending without having access to a smart bomb to deploy on the houses of parliament. The only way to rid this country of the plague which are Politicians.
Shadow leader Ed Milliband lived up to a labour leaders reputation by mounting the rostrum to spout a complete load of rubbish about struggle, something I doubt he, or any of his fellow Jews have suffered since 1945 when they escaped persecution similar to what the rest of us are having to endure in the present climate, albeit, without a large amount of gold or bag of diamonds to help us set up home in a new land. Give me my share and I'll gladly take off on the next plane out, though I wont murder Palestinians, bulldoze their homes or simply take their country away from them in the process.
But less of the Milliband heritage as he and his brother are of no consequence, no-one in their right mind would vote for their chosen party ever again, Gogo Brown won't be making a comeback as no-one wanted him in the first place and Tony, well, if you tear a country apart based on listening to rumours started by an oil baron idiot named George then really you don't deserve a job, but actually get a very highly paid one as compensation for messing up big style anyway.
So, where do the British public turn?
The savior, Cameroon. Who voted him in? The middle class marchers who gathered in the capital teed off with the cuts, simples, I bet they wished they'de thought a bit more about it before they put that little X in the blue box on polling day.
I have deleted a multitude of old posts on this blog pertaining to what the Tories do, have done and will continue to do each and every time they hold the reins, if you didn't get it before then here's a snippet to remind you all.
They sell off everything they can to fill the coffers after Ed's lot mess up. They make cuts, usually to all industry, however we don't have any left, so its the public sector this time, sorry.
What does this achieve in the grand scheme of things you might ask, well, it swells the queue at the dole office and makes the majority in this country who prefer working for a living to sitting watching Jeremy Kyle, hungry.
Hunger, in turn keeps the wage bill in the private sector down as there's always someone from this queue ready to step in to a position vacated by an extremely overworked individual who throws the towel in while trying to negotiate a pay increase.
The end result is Davy's chums in big business make oodles of dough at everyone else,s expense while paying even less corporation taxes as Dave reduces this as soon as he takes power and continues to reduce this year on year with the help of tax avoider Georgie, both of whom are guaranteed a job in said corporation on being removed from power 5 years down the line, even though both of these and the rest of their cabinet are already multi-millionaires and don't really need the money but like to play politics as they attended Eton and the monopoly board wasn't as much fun as stiffing the British public.
Next time out folks put your X next to the ENGLISH DEMOCRATS, SDLP, UKIP, The Green party or even the BNP, but for christ's sake lets not vote for the other three showers of excrement ever again, You know it makes sense.
Wednesday, 23 March 2011
A new budget, no surprises
Well peeps here it is, the, "We're all in it together, growth budget", and, if you believe any of that you're real dumb-asses.
He cut the cost of fuel, yay, 1 poxy penny a litre, they're laughing at the people of this country with this as an insult. Every pint (1/2 litre) you drink in the local just went up by 4 p, so for every two pints Georgie porky gets 8 pence, I think, taking into account, the tea total mob, the .gov will still reap rewards of 6p over and above each penny sacrificed in fuel duty to "help" the families suffering hardship in this economic climate.
Just to hedge the bet 50p is going on your fag packet and remember too VAT just put all these "luxuries" up 2.5 percent, already roughly 18 p on a packet of fags for these greedy bastards.
By my reckoning, every family in this country has just been penalized to the tune of another £500 per year, or, another way, we're all donating another £10 a week to aid government in bailing out banks, who by the way, are all paying massive bonus and raking in massive profit at your, and my expense.
Now I'm no economist, but if this was the cocaine budget we'd all be snowed under, thanks Geordie boy. By the way, George, isn't an economist either, in fact his qualifications do not, I repeat, DO NOT, list O level maths.
Basically he can carry that little red box but his ideas couldn't fill a bloody match box. We are being led into slavery and economic disaster by a bunch of idiots who receive substantial amounts from both government and the banks for their lying and thieving from the British population. So bury your heads in the sand, WE LOST THE PEACE.
He cut the cost of fuel, yay, 1 poxy penny a litre, they're laughing at the people of this country with this as an insult. Every pint (1/2 litre) you drink in the local just went up by 4 p, so for every two pints Georgie porky gets 8 pence, I think, taking into account, the tea total mob, the .gov will still reap rewards of 6p over and above each penny sacrificed in fuel duty to "help" the families suffering hardship in this economic climate.
Just to hedge the bet 50p is going on your fag packet and remember too VAT just put all these "luxuries" up 2.5 percent, already roughly 18 p on a packet of fags for these greedy bastards.
By my reckoning, every family in this country has just been penalized to the tune of another £500 per year, or, another way, we're all donating another £10 a week to aid government in bailing out banks, who by the way, are all paying massive bonus and raking in massive profit at your, and my expense.
Now I'm no economist, but if this was the cocaine budget we'd all be snowed under, thanks Geordie boy. By the way, George, isn't an economist either, in fact his qualifications do not, I repeat, DO NOT, list O level maths.
Basically he can carry that little red box but his ideas couldn't fill a bloody match box. We are being led into slavery and economic disaster by a bunch of idiots who receive substantial amounts from both government and the banks for their lying and thieving from the British population. So bury your heads in the sand, WE LOST THE PEACE.
Saturday, 31 July 2010
POLITICAL HEROES 2010
Here we go, a former Tory party leader is in charge of the radical shake up of the benefits system. He's going to get Britain working, and, make it pay to have a job, what a bloody laugh.
If it wasn't so bloody tragic it would be funny. The Tories seem to forget it was their mad woman leader of the eighties who took the majority of employment from the workers by closing industry down to zero in her power crazed clashes with steel/mines/shipyards with one thought in mind, "We can get it cheaper abroad"
Well we can't anymore, and with all the closures and demolition of the factories/mines/shipyards and steelworks it will be impossible to start again. 20 years on we have a crisis and the solution is get everyone back to work, Ian Duncan Smith, who has never looked for a job by the way, has come up with the solution.
One million unfilled vacancies exist in Britain, but theres probably nearer 5 million unemployed as they shuffle the numbers to suit themselves, fill the million positions and the economy will grow according to Ian, this in turn will produce more jobs, says Ian.
Ian, get a life, wake up, these policies are dreamworks and would take 50 years to turn this country around. There's no jobs, your lot has stopped the building projects around the country, keeping builders out of work, denying a paltry sum to Sheffield Forgemasters will put those on the dole too, my god, I wish I was young enough to piss off out of this shithole full of bloody foreigners and the exploitation of you upper class dickheads.
If it wasn't so bloody tragic it would be funny. The Tories seem to forget it was their mad woman leader of the eighties who took the majority of employment from the workers by closing industry down to zero in her power crazed clashes with steel/mines/shipyards with one thought in mind, "We can get it cheaper abroad"
Well we can't anymore, and with all the closures and demolition of the factories/mines/shipyards and steelworks it will be impossible to start again. 20 years on we have a crisis and the solution is get everyone back to work, Ian Duncan Smith, who has never looked for a job by the way, has come up with the solution.
One million unfilled vacancies exist in Britain, but theres probably nearer 5 million unemployed as they shuffle the numbers to suit themselves, fill the million positions and the economy will grow according to Ian, this in turn will produce more jobs, says Ian.
Ian, get a life, wake up, these policies are dreamworks and would take 50 years to turn this country around. There's no jobs, your lot has stopped the building projects around the country, keeping builders out of work, denying a paltry sum to Sheffield Forgemasters will put those on the dole too, my god, I wish I was young enough to piss off out of this shithole full of bloody foreigners and the exploitation of you upper class dickheads.
Tuesday, 6 July 2010
We're all in it together (the shit that is)
Well the new government has made a grand start by hitting the people who have the least, the most. They keep telling us we're in this together, well we're not. The new coalition contains numerous millionaires, the street in which I live contains zero millionaires, together, I think not.
Gordon Brown keeps getting the blame for our present economic climate from those in gov now, lets just remind ourselves of a few facts here.
Gordon, though a souless individual, was a pretty competant chancellor. Not that he gave normal people a great deal but tried his best not to kick the shit out of the downtrodden as they lay in the dirt. His counterparts are though.
Gordon's big mistake was propping the banks up after they created the horse shite we find ourselves in now. The banks once again are making oodles of dough but the people are being made to pay back with increased taxation, job losses, higher prices etc etc. The Banks, (read those in power, the upper echelons of society etc) are recouping their losses from us stupid citizens, and we can't do a thing about it. Why, because we voted the bastards in.
Now forgive my cynicism but I follow news and politics around the globe, and guess what. Every country which is in trouble financially have exactly the same policies for the bailout, increase VAT, or whatever they call their variation, cut wages in the public sector, (working classes in well paid jobs) and just about any other cut they can get away with, after all they already devalued the property market, while at the same time cutting corporate taxation.
Smells of Robin Hood working in reverse.
Now my ultimate ideas concerning this situation are this. These wealthy bastards, who run, own and make more dosh from normal citizens don't like to see the many do well, they don't wish to associate, eat in the same restaurants, share train compartments, roads or air travel, you get my drift.
The best and most easy way to do this is price you and me out of the market, high fuel prices, taxes, crap jobs of minimum wage, less benefits, low pensions etc etc and these twats get their way.
Life was shit before, now it's getting a lot worse.
Gordon Brown keeps getting the blame for our present economic climate from those in gov now, lets just remind ourselves of a few facts here.
Gordon, though a souless individual, was a pretty competant chancellor. Not that he gave normal people a great deal but tried his best not to kick the shit out of the downtrodden as they lay in the dirt. His counterparts are though.
Gordon's big mistake was propping the banks up after they created the horse shite we find ourselves in now. The banks once again are making oodles of dough but the people are being made to pay back with increased taxation, job losses, higher prices etc etc. The Banks, (read those in power, the upper echelons of society etc) are recouping their losses from us stupid citizens, and we can't do a thing about it. Why, because we voted the bastards in.
Now forgive my cynicism but I follow news and politics around the globe, and guess what. Every country which is in trouble financially have exactly the same policies for the bailout, increase VAT, or whatever they call their variation, cut wages in the public sector, (working classes in well paid jobs) and just about any other cut they can get away with, after all they already devalued the property market, while at the same time cutting corporate taxation.
Smells of Robin Hood working in reverse.
Now my ultimate ideas concerning this situation are this. These wealthy bastards, who run, own and make more dosh from normal citizens don't like to see the many do well, they don't wish to associate, eat in the same restaurants, share train compartments, roads or air travel, you get my drift.
The best and most easy way to do this is price you and me out of the market, high fuel prices, taxes, crap jobs of minimum wage, less benefits, low pensions etc etc and these twats get their way.
Life was shit before, now it's getting a lot worse.
Tuesday, 13 April 2010
Legal aid for MP's
Just bloody dandy, three of our MP's get caught stealing up to 30,000 pounds each from the public purse, (Only this once mind you, lying bastards) and they have the right to be given legal aid as they could be given a prison sentence, what a joke.
These, and many others of their ilk, who are well off, well paid and will have sizeable bank balances after years of plundering the public purse are to be helped through this lands judicial system and could cost the nation untold millions in legal expenses in their bid to get off from what they bloody well deserve, a real prison sentence.
How about the proceeds of crime act stepping in here upon their conviction, after all, false accounting is THEFT, or FRAUD.
I suggest, considering they've held their trusted positions for a number of years, that on conviction all assets gained since taking up their positions be seized, including spouses assets, as the majority will have been employed by the hubby in the scam too, all at our expense, so the lot belongs to the taxpayer.
Lets have some real justice in this country, it happens to other thieves let it happen to this lot and lets have it all back then.
These, and many others of their ilk, who are well off, well paid and will have sizeable bank balances after years of plundering the public purse are to be helped through this lands judicial system and could cost the nation untold millions in legal expenses in their bid to get off from what they bloody well deserve, a real prison sentence.
How about the proceeds of crime act stepping in here upon their conviction, after all, false accounting is THEFT, or FRAUD.
I suggest, considering they've held their trusted positions for a number of years, that on conviction all assets gained since taking up their positions be seized, including spouses assets, as the majority will have been employed by the hubby in the scam too, all at our expense, so the lot belongs to the taxpayer.
Lets have some real justice in this country, it happens to other thieves let it happen to this lot and lets have it all back then.
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